The following differs from a majority of my previous posts. I took the opportunity to reflect on my weekend (sort of) trip to Harvard University, where my girlfriend is readying herself to move. It seems great to me now, though I was not completely sold on it at the time. The follwoing documention will go into full detail concerning my thoughts and actions about her move and our relationship. Thank you for reading.
To begin this past week, I traveled to Cambridge, MA where my girlfriend will (eventually) spend the next 3 years as a Harvard University Law student. It was my first time visiting Harvard, but this trip wasn't for sight-seeing... it was strictly business. We were to deliver a number of items to her new apartment to lighten the load for her Mother and Aunt when it came time for her to move to Cambridge for good. To say the least, the trip was bittersweet. I’ve never been so excited and scared in my life.
When be pulled up to her apartment, I noticed the untrimmed hedges immediately (call it the landscaper in me) and walked up the rickety wooden stairs to her front door. From the outside, I couldn’t believe that this weed-laden, boy’s bathroom-colored house was the place that my girlfriend was going to be living! I was afraid to stay there for a night, let alone have her stay there for the next three years.
Once we entered the apartment, however, my tune changed. Freshly waxed floors, the smell of newly painted walls, and the blinding whitewashed walls gave me that “sanitary and safe” hospital feeling. Her room was beautiful; it looked like a room that a Harvard student should study in: dark birch-esque wood base with pure white walls and ceiling (the type of model you would expect to find in a library). When I first stepped into the room I thought, “So, this is what Harvard is like.”
The entire process of leaving my apprehensions outside the ugly exterior of the house before entering the beautiful interior essentially sums up the relationship between Harvard Law School and myself. Though Harvard has abducted the single-most important person in my life, it is important to look past the blunt “exterior” that is her sporadic absence in my life over the next three years. The interior of our relationship reflects many more great moments of the past and infinite future events that will bring us closer together.
The exterior and interior qualities of my struggle have an inverse as well. Whenever there is a discussion about Harvard I act ecstatic, of course there is nothing better than being accepted into a top-flight Law School. In this instance though, is it that far-fetched to internally feel a tad-bit selfish? Of course not... though it is completely uncalled for to let one’s feelings and opinions get in the way of another’s destiny. I know that she is destined for great things in her life, greater things than my current selfishness. Ergo, Harvard is wonderful!
It is hard to look into the future when the present seems so trying. That night, a loud clanging sounded throughout the apartment. Was someone attempting to break in? Was someone already inside? Several unnerving and fearsome thoughts entered both our minds as I felt her beating heart against mine. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, it was time for action. I walked toward the window, heart in throat, hoping the explanation for this disturbance was laughable/stupid.
When I found that the oscillating fan was the culprit, relief consumed my entire self. I was so glad that we were safe I almost instantaneously fell into a sound sleep, but I could not help but draw yet another parallel. The fear we both felt that night served as a representation of the fear that people in a long-distance situation feel on a daily basis. However, when one takes a step back and looks at the source of their fear, they find that in all matters surrounding love, there is nothing to be afraid of. It is ironic afterall as love is also the cure for this aforementioned fear…
Essentially, the “evil” oscillating fan provided an opportunity to reflect on the fear surrounding our situation at its source. I know that my girlfriend is entering a different, scary situation that both she and I may not like, but it’s important for us both to conquer this fear in order for our relationship's strength to be revealed and fully realized at the end of the journey.
After my night at Harvard, I have never felt safer. I feel that my girlfriend will not only flourish at Cambridge, but that our relationship will graduate to the next level along with her. I couldn’t be prouder or her or feel stronger with her by my side.
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